


come a little closer (there is a halo in your mouth and i like the way it burns)

by chloebaeprice



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Carm is so messed up ok, F/F, and i wish we got info on her human family and what her human childhood was like, and oh god don't get me started on ell, she just doesn't express it as much as she should
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-16
Updated: 2015-07-16
Packaged: 2018-04-09 13:54:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4351400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chloebaeprice/pseuds/chloebaeprice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So you drown yourself in Laura’s love, try to forget the hollow ache in your bones and the gentle, caressing hands you did not deserve.</p>
            </blockquote>





	come a little closer (there is a halo in your mouth and i like the way it burns)

No one warned you that dying would hurt.

No one warned you about vampires that sneaked into galas and took on the form of human beings. No one warned you of how seductive they could be (how you would become one of them).

No one warned you that on your eighteenth birthday you would have blood dripping down your throat that would match the ruby necklace you wore.

(No one warned you of the pleasure that can be found in killing innocent people.)

 

 

 

 

 

You can still remember your human mother and father’s screams and the amount of blood that was poured out of their bodies but not what their smiles looked like. Their faces are blurry, vague imitations in your memory.

What did Ell look like?

What you remember of her: blonde hair, delicate, fragile bones and curves, desiring for her to consume you and crush you with her lips and weight, pleading with her silently to scorch you with her pure soul, to cleanse you, gut out your vile insides before you could ruin her (the same fate you brought to all the girls that trusted you, as Maman ordered).

What you remember: your love for her burning in your throat, your body shaking and shivering under her loving gaze, believing her to be an angel upon meeting her, silk hair the color of gold fanned out against bed sheets, her condemning you as a monster, repulsed of your nature, terrified of your true self, abandoning you to suffer alone within the confines of a dark coffin.

You loved her, you did, but thinking about her hurts; more than being inside a coffin, more than suffocating darkness, more than Maman’s bruising hands, more than the blood spilled from your human family, more than Maman sinking her fangs into you, injecting her venom into you, turning your blood wretched and wrong and twisted and sickening (turning you into the monster you are), more than seeing bodies upon bodies on a war struck battlefield for miles, more than your quenching thirst for blood, more than the war bombs that greeted you upon awakening from your prison, the ones that still echo in your ears after all this time.

So you drown yourself in Laura’s love, try to forget the hollow ache in your bones and the gentle, caressing hands you did not deserve.

 

 

 

 

 

You can remember all the bad memories in detail, vividly, horridly (it took living for centuries for you to learn that the good ones blur, lay mostly forgotten and forever remain in glimpses).

You do not tell Laura of your inability to envision anything while sleeping (your life has been filled with darkness, it is only fitting it envelopes you whilst you are unconscious as well).

 

 

 

 

 

You hold your breath and don’t let go.

You don’t die and you still feel hollow inside. You remain a monster surrounded by black (except when you see Laura's gold, angel hair).

You thought you were used to disappointment by now.


End file.
